Jayden Stephen Abbs

Jayden Stephen Abbs
Born 2nd October 2000
Died 27th January 2001
Age 4 Months

I had a healthy and trouble free pregnancy with Jayden, he was a 'surprise' baby, but a
very much wanted surprise.
I went into labour in the early hours of 2nd October 2000, it was a tuesday morning and i was 4 days
overdue. I remember being so excited at finally being able to meet this little person that i had
grown for 9 months, i got Lea to ring the hospital and my mum. I had a very uncomfortable journey to
hospital with contractions coming every 5 minutes, we got to the hospital at 7.30am after battling
through rush hour traffic!
At the hospital i was exmined and found to be 5cm dialated! i was given gas and air for the pain and
that seemed to help. As Jayden was my first baby i didn't know what to expect, so i asked the
midwife when would my baby be born?! she said don't expect to have your baby before lunchtime!
But at 9.30am i felt pressure, the midwife checked me out and i was 10cm dialated!! Jayden was born
at 9.52am. The first thing i asked when he was born was 'is it a boy?', i'd had a
strong feeling when pregnant that i was carrying a boy, so i was estactic when i finally got to meet
my precious baby boy! Words cannot describe how happy i was with my new son.

The midwife explained to me that when Jayden was born she had noticed moconium (babys 1st poo) in my
waters and that we'd have to stay in hospital for one night to observe Jayden. I didn't
mind as i wanted to know my baby was ok.
That first night is when things started to go downhill, Jayden didn't wake up and he was not
feeding much but he kept being very sick, i called the midwife countless times and was told 'he
is ok, just change the cot sheets' and i'd get given new sheets. By the morning i just
couldn't wait to get home with my new baby, Jayden was checked over and i was told 'he is
fine'. My mum picked us up from hospital and we all went back to my flat.

That night laying in bed i didn't sleep, like most new mums i kept checking Jayden, but i
noticed that when he was breathing in he was making a strange noise and he had still not woken up.
The midwife came that afternoon and i told her about my worries, again i was told Jayden was fine.
On the thursday the midwife came out again and i told her that Jayden still hadn't woke up, had
not dirtied a nappy and was not taking any milk so i had tried to spoonfeed him water as i was
worried he would dehydrate, again i was told he was ok. Later that day Jayden started to
'jerk' when i touched him, on the friday he was still jerking so when the midwife came i
told her off my worries AGAIN, by now i was getting annoyed as i was being ignored and felt silly
when i would be told yet again that Jayden was fine BUT this time to my horror the midwife took one
look at Jayden and said 'get him to hospital now'. We took Jayden tot he hospital and
after a wait he was taken off me and put into SCBU because he was dehydrated, i was not allowed to
go with him at first as they wanted to put a drip in, when i next saw Jayden about half an hour
later he looked like a different baby, he looked so ill. I was told 'Jayden is very sick and we
need to do tests'. I was given a poloroid picture of him and sent home 'to rest'. I
will NEVER forget how heart breaking it was to walk out of the maternity unit knowing my newborn
baby was back inside on his own. :( we went back to my mums as i couldnt face going to my flat and
having to look at Jayden's empty cot, i spent the whole night crying and ringing the hospital
to ask how Jayden was.

By the sunday, Jayden had had loads of tests on his brain, heart, x-rays, scans, lumbar puncture
etc, i was told that the infection Group B Strep was found on Jayden but not to worry as it was not
serious, i didn't worry as i'd never heard of GBS. I was then told the hospital could not
find anything wrong, by now Jayden was on oxygen as his breathing was going downhill. We were told
Jayden needed specialist help and was being transferred to Guy's Hospital the next day. I was
to meet Jayden at Guy's.

The next day i went to guy's hospital, i was told that just before the ambulance was leaving
the hospital Jayden stopped breathing and was now on a ventalator, he had also had his head shaved
as they had to get an emergency line into his skull. As the doctor was talking he said 'we need
to do more tests to find out how bad Jayden's brain damage is' thats when me and my mum
asked the doctor if they had the wrong baby! The doctor then realised the other hospital hadn't
told me that Jayden was brain damaged! What a way to find out, other parents have the news broken to
them, not for me, it was just assumed i knew!

After two weeks in hospital, numerous tests and Jayden flitting between the children's ward and
intensive care, i was told that Jayden was severly brain damaged, it took me two weeks and lots of
crying to come to terms with that, i knew i'd do all i could to bring Jayden up myself. But two
weeks later the doctor told us one afternoon that he wanted a meeting with us the next afternoon, me
and family were to be there. Well me and my mum got VERY hopefull, maybe the prognosis was not as
bad after all?!
The next afternoon me, my parents, Lea and a handful of doctors, nurses etc all went into a room,
the next thing the doctor said will be with me FOREVER, he said 'i'm so sorry but Jayden
has a very rare type of epilepsy, he is completly brain dead, he will die before he turns 2, there
is nothing more we can do, you need to think about taking him off the machines now' with that i
got up screamed, ran out of the room and callapsed. How could my newborn baby be dying?! Why
wasn't the doctors helping him? why us? why me? did i deserve this?

The next day, me and my whole family went to be with Jayden while he took his last breathes, but it
wasn't to be, he carried on breathing!! After two days of waiting for Jayden to die, i decided
i wanted him at home with his family, so the hospital organised everything, showing me how to use
oxygen tanks, do suction, medications etc. The ambulance took us home the next day.

Jayden was so so brave, he carried on for 3 months! It was not an easy time, Jayden would stop
breathing and go blue at least once a week and Lea would give him the kiss of life. jayden fianlly
gave up his brave fight on 27th January 2001. I still can't believe he has gone.